Homestudy and feeling lost

Well I have completed one meeting of our homestudy with another tonight and the final one on Saturday.  My social worker really crammed in the meetings.  I am not complaining though.  The quicker this is done the quicker I will be on the official wait list.

One thing I do feel like complaining about is seriously the fact I feel like I am in serious limbo.  During my IVF days I got awesome support from the ladies at IVF.ca an absolute wicked site, ladies who know what you are going through and are there for you when you are feeling blue.  I no longer feel like I belong there.  The adoption part of the forum is so quiet and not that the ladies are supportive it is just lacking in posts and can go days to weeks without anyone posting. 

I am trying to track down a adoption forum that has the same vibe but sadly I haven't been able to find one.  I am feeling so lost in limbo right now......and just needed to vent.

The wait game

Well last wednesday we finally dropped off the last piece of paper required to get this home study underway.  I was told that the director would be calling me to setup the first meeting......Well I am still waiting for this call.

I am seriously so tired of waiting, I feel like my whole existence right now is waiting. 

Feeling frustrated

Dropped Off

I am sooooooo happy to announce that we have dropped our adoption application.   I am super excited to start the next step.  Hopefully by July we will be officially on the waiting list.  Then I ask for everyone to pray for some teenage girl to get pregnant.  LOL Ok well just wish that we get a baby fast :)

WHOOOOOHOOOO!!!!!!!!


Staceylee

Its ready to go

Well it's been a while since I posted here.  I have been preoccupied with crafting and my new blog,  http://www.staceyleecraftspot.blogspot.com/  and of course all the adoption paper work.  However I am excited to say I have finished every bit of paperwork, picture album and even the birth mom letter.  I even trucked it downtown on Monday the coldest day ever to get our police checks and then off to the Dr's for our medical.  I am now waiting for one teeny tiny thing, our marriage certificate.  We have some how lost our original in our last move and I had to order a new one from BC.  So praying it arrives this week so I can go down to adoption options and drop off my paper work. 

I'm getting so excited.  I can't believe we finally get this adoption stuff started. 

Well thats all.  Just a quick little blurb.

Take Care Everyone

Staceylee

The last big thing

Well its here finally.  The last big thing.  I have completed every part of the adoption package, the zillion checklist question, the essay questions, the scrapbook and what have I left til last......the dear birthmom letter.  This letter has been haunting me every freaking day.  How do you write to someone you have never met basically begging them to give their baby to you.  I seriously am stumped even how to start it.  How do you place just those right few words to have her even interested in continuing. 

I have looked a quite a few examples on the internet and honestly people sound so pompus, to hoity toity.  Its basically look at us and all our money.  Money can buy happiness right......WRONG. 

I have put a time limit on this letter I have until the end of the month to write it.  So I guess I better start it, I know DH won't be writing it.  Well if anyone has any ideas on what I should put in there it would be helpful.

As for people I want to punch in the face......well actually today I don't have anyone.  Amazing right...LOL

Take Care

Staceylee

75% complete

Well I can't belive I actually get to post this but I am 75% of the way through the adoptions forms.  Last night DH and I worked through the questionaires.  It was kinda fun.  There is a part in the forms where you can have to rate your spouse on what you think about them.   You know whether they are kind, abusive, sensitive etc.  It was nice hearing about what DH thought of me and he stated it was nice to hear things from me.  DH and I are always telling one another that we love each other; we both feel it is important to tell each other that all the time but it was so nice last night hearing something other than just I love you.

I was reading an article a while ago that stated those who have dealt with infertility and the heart aches it can bring actually increases the chances of a marriage working.  I have learned more about DH in the last few years and I feel closer to him every day as we embark on this journey together and honestly this infertility journey has taught me more about myself than I ever thought and really how strong I can be. 

Anyways........sorry about the sappy stuff LOL.  Back to the adoption.  Tonight we are going to finish the "Baby Order" sheet.  Doesn't that sound crazy.  But honestly it is a form with what you will and won't accept.  Like Race, disabilities, whether the mother did drugs etc etc.  The form is going to be actually easy to complete as we have been discussing over the last month and half about what we feel we can accept.  Then we are into the essay questions.  Man I feel like I am back in school or something. 

Of course I am leaving the hardest thing to last.  The dear birthmother letter.  How do you write something asking a person to give me their child.  I really don't know where to begin.......maybe I will end up procrastinating a little bit more when it comes to that.....who knows.

Ok ok so now that you have read my vent session I know you are all wondering who I want to punch in the face today.....well here goes.  Yesterday I had to go meet my new Dr. and my appointment was at 2 and I didn't get in until 2:45 so as you can guess I want to punch my Dr. Office in the face.  I can't be late for the appointment but it is okay with them to be late????  I should mention the clinic was DEAD......but I guess I have nothing better to do so it is okay for them to waste my time.......man I can't stand that.

Well hope you all have a fantastic day

Stacey

Procrastination

Todays blog is brought to you by the word "Procrastination".  Sitting on my desk in my office at home is this lovely binder of questions and forms to complete to start the application for adoption.  Every day that binder is staring me down....saying hey why don't you come over here and fill me out. 

I don't know why I am being so lazy about completing this, just looking at it reminds me of what has brought me this far.  Makes me angry that I have no choice but to do this...makes me angry about my infertility journey...makes me mad that I again have to shell out thousands of dollars just to have a kid...makes me angry that people who don't deserve children can pop them out like pez dispensers...and then end up with little devil children .

Ok thats my rant for today.  People I want to punch in the face...well its that people who can pop kids out like pez dispensers.

Take Care

Staceylee