When will this bitch disappear

Today's rant will be about my period.  The bitch is back; with full force; giving me the worst pain.  I have never been one for period cramps and hardly ever knew what they were like until my first failed IVF.  Then I really experienced pain; things the doctors don't tell you when your cycle fails.  Now I thought I knew pain from that experience until today.  The period cramps after the second IVF are far worse.  It feels like I am having my egg extraction done all over again. 

Since I am dealing with "premature ovarian failure" I am waiting and praying for the day that this bitch will be gone and I know it will happen soon which will be good.  Now that I am dealing and ok with not having any biological children I can't see the reason I would even need it.

So thats the rant.  I am bitchy, bloated and having major pain and the person I want to punch in the face is Aunt Flo.  You suck

Staceylee

Today was the day I knew you were coming

Today's title is in retrospect to everything I have taken in the last 3 days.  The adoption course was fantastic.  I walked out of the course Saturday and felt a weight of years of TTC and my IVF journey disappear.  Another feeling then filled me.....it was the feeling that my infertility wasn't a waste but a stepping stone to take the path I was meant to take....a path to adoption. 

And today was the date I knew you were coming dear child.  I don't know when we will meet but I know you are coming and until then I will dream of you and pray for you and get everything ready for you.  This is something I never really knew with IVF it was I hope it ends this way but in no means was it guaranteed.

So one day you may get to read this blog and you can mark it in your lifes journey that today we are connected forever and ever.

Blog Name Change

Ok so I decided to change my blog title.  Yes it can be a little harsh but sometimes I just have this urge to punch people in the face.  Plus I don't want to make this blog all about our adoption process but just a place where I can sit and vent.

So today I go to my adoption course; starting to feel very very scared to be honest.  Not sure what to expect and not sure how I am going to feel when I leave.

I hope is the start of a great process and is it too much to ask to make it a quick process.

As for a person I want to punch in the face today.  I guess it will be Justin Bieber.  That kid just annoys me.

Signing out

Staceylee

New to blogging

Well I am brand new at this blogging.  I have blogged a few times on a fertlity board but never had my own official blog before. 

A little about our situation.  We are currently both 34 and have been trying to conceive a child for a little over 4 years.  A year and half ago we were diagnosed with infertility.  My hubby with morphed sperm and me with low ovarian reserve.  We have done 2 rounds of IVF both unsuccessful. 

So the purpose of this blog is to map out life without baby and our goal to one day have a baby. 

How are we going to get there; well only time will tell.  Both my hubby and I have agreed to not discuss the how to get there until the beginning of November so now the thought process begins.